Recapping the Milestone

So much for keeping up with the Thankfulness Challenge. Ooops.

I'm not going to recap every day, because I really don't remember each day. I remember highlights.

For instance, last Wednesday..

My husband had wrist surgery.

I went to the Cities 97 Sampler Release Party. With my mom. 

The funny thing about the Sampler Release Party is that there were four bands, and each played four or five songs. It was like a mini-concert. A taste. It was lovely - I was able to see The Wild Feathers, Matt Hires, the Unlikely Candidates, and (my favorite) Delta Rae.

 I lost it, though. During 'Dance in the Graveyards' - I broke down. I'm sure I looked like a cheesy fan girl, but, that song kills me. It's exactly what my father, and my husband, would say/request. And on the day before Henry's six month anniversary.. I was emotional.

We were in the very front - standing room only - second from the stage. It was beautiful, and a wonderful experience.

Thursday - I woke up just sad. I'd been dreading this day for months. Actually, in a small part of me, I've been dreading this anniversary since before he was born. How would I survive his death, much less the following milestones? A month without my family together. Three months. Half a year! How could I possibly go on, without both of my children in my arms?

Thursday morning, I tried to just be mindless. But my heart knew. My body responded to my heart, and not my brain. I shook, I wept. Mindlessly. Grief poured out and I felt like I was drowning all over again.

I put out a call, here, and on Facebook. I asked you all to make someone's day bright. To encourage kindness - in honor of my Henry. Our Henry. And you did. That afternoon, I felt so bolstered up.. it was stunning. It was magical. It felt like I was in touch with Heaven.

Yeah, I know, sounds crazy. But it helped. It really, really helped. You are all amazing.

I actually felt good enough to venture out. I went to a belly dancing class with a good friend on Thursday night. It felt good to stretch my body out -- I felt like I was twisting the last few tears of the day out. I'm always going to cry for him, but that night I felt as if he was still with me. I carry him around with me, tucked into a pocket in my heart. My Henry pocket.

Friday.. Friday was a day. I was exhausted from work, and I just wanted to snuggle with my Amelia -- mind you, I've been out every night since Wednesday, that's a HUGE deal to me, the mommy who never leaves! -- and I was feeling really guilty. But we had tickets to Catching Fire. And it was the eve of Jason's birthday. Yeah, we needed to go. Amelia hung out with (grand)Pa-pa, and we left.

By the way, fantastic movie. I just missed my kid.

Saturday -- okay, okay. I'm not trying to chronicle every single day missed. But this day was pretty important. It was Jason's birthday. He turned 33. That's a pretty big birthday - and we celebrated with our family and friends at the bowling alley. All Jason really wanted for his birthday was to take Amelia bowling for the first time. She loved it.

One happy daddy. He loved helping her -- he even found her 'mark'! Our scores were 203, 152, and 78. I was quite pleased with my 152. Jason bowled his average. Amelia rocked the house!

Jason received tickets to the Gopher's game for his birthday. November 23rd. In Minnesota. IT WAS COLD. But it was really, really fun.

Brr.

And, in closing -- I'm thankful for all of the above.
 - That I'm actually able to breathe after Henry's six month angel-versary.
 - For my amazing husband
 - My wonderful daughter
 - Great friends
 - Feeling like a teenager after curfew - coming home late to my toddler!