I had a really messed up dream last night.
If I write it down, it won't torture me in my head any longer. Right?
Somehow.. how is it that all dreams I have pick up in the middle? I don't do beginnings in my subconscious, I guess. My mom, sister, and I were following this wicked woman through a fun house/warehouse/ikea from hell place. She had something of ours. I think it was something of Persephonee's.
I only say that because I felt an urgent need to get it back, but not for myself. I can let things go for myself -- but I felt like it was for my brother and sister in law. It was something that they should have, perhaps not needed. Like P's shoes. Something.
The first place was dark, but not bad. Second stage was pitch black and our phone flashlight apps would crash/never start. In that area, a huge bat dove towards me. I caught it at both wings, and tried to free it through an open warehouse door into the night. But there was some sort of force field that killed the bat as it tried to escape. That angered me - something innocent to the evil woman's scheme shouldn't have to die.
The third stage was a horror-movie Ikea, or general department store. We found grave stones -- my sister found Rob and Henry's. But.. you could open the stones. She opened Henry's and picked him up. She snuggled him, and offered him to me to hold again.
That's when I knew it was hell. Because I knew that I wouldn't be able to let him go again. I knew that whatever you wanted most in life would be there, to keep you from going back. It's like Orpheus and Eurydice. I feel so guilty for not at least trying to hold him - but I knew, I knew I would have to give him back again -- and it would be even worse. I don't think it was really him at all in hell - but just an image to draw me in further. Oh, my boy. I wish I could have you back.
I woke up choking on my tears. I don't even know if we succeeded with our 'quest'. My arms just ached to hold him again.
