June is hanging over my head like a death sentence. I'm trying to do my best to cope with Henry's condition, but I know it's going to be so much different once he's here. Once he's gone, will I be the same person?

I said the s-word in yesterday's post. My knee-jerk reaction is to go back and delete it, edit it completely out, but I feel like that's just an outright lie. I have considered that as an option, in the past, but never really thought it through -- because of my daughter. I love her with my whole heart, and can't imagine her growing up without me. Not to be arrogant - but I've known people who've lost their parents at a young age. It's not healthy. It's not the best for her. And she'll always have my best. Ultimately, it's a lie for me to ignore the fact that it's crossed my mind. But it's also not okay to just leave it at that -- I feel like an explanation is owed.