A number of the responses I've gotten from the Facebook posts are endearing, and supportive.

But I don't know how to feel about the ones that say that they're praying that he proves the doctors wrong - that so and so had a similar situation and they blew the docs away. I feel like that's a little bit wrong. We've done everything we can to get a solid prognosis - numerous ultrasounds, fetal MRI, genetic and chromosomal testing - and we're confident in our providers. Not to mention having seen the MRI ourselves - and the startling fact that most of his brain is just not there.

I feel like it's a false hope. It's praying for a miracle after the fact -- God can't undo things that He has all ready done. I just pray for strength to get through.

Part of me daydreams that maybe Henry is meant for better things -- at least, to be part of something greater. Maybe his organs will allow other children to live, to go forth and make their positive marks on the world. Maybe he'll allow someone to be President.. or just a really good person.

I can't imagine a person going through life, knowing that they have organs donated to them - sacrificed for them - and becoming a horrible person. I just don't think that's possible for a human.

Amelia and I went with Jason to bowling last night. They had a blast - she loves the attention from all of the boys. Amelia and Daddy were dancing and playing down by the lanes, and I started to tear up. Jason won't be able to bounce Henry on his knee. Henry won't be able to laugh. It's just heartbreaking.

My emotions are like a rollercoaster. Cliche, I know. But it's like I can change the tract. If I'm going up the 'hill'/getting emotional, I can usually ignore it and take a moment and slam down my barriers back in place. I don't have to cry. But if someone (like my amazing husband..) asks me about it, continues to prod me into that emotional place, it's all downhill and I'm crying in the restroom for twenty minutes.

I hate crying in public. People always assume that you're just a dumb drunk girl. Or that someone broke up with you. Assumptions that I shouldn't even care about, but I find that I do.

Sigh. I just need to .. skip past this entire year? I don't even know if I want to miss that.