Wake up

I woke up at 3am, terrified.

I dreamt it all happened again. But this time, we found out at eight weeks instead of twenty.

When he was born, we called him Henry - again. And he was just as beautiful. And just as horrible to lose him.

I think it's because I've been reflecting that if I had to do it again, just to meet him, I would. 

And because I'm seriously terrified that it WILL happen again. That if we decide to have another child, they'll develop Holoprosencephaly, too. We're on the low end of genetic possibilities, but there's always a chance it could happen again.

Don't think I'll be able to sleep again.