Thoughts

I was thinking.

If I could just wish away the pain, would I?

I don't think I would. Because the grief I feel translates directly to the love I have for my son. My Henry. I wouldn't give up my love for anything.

Jason, Amelia, and I were snuggled on the couch this evening. I burst out crying because I wanted BOTH of my babies. It's not fair - it's not natural. I feel like I've been waiting the last eight months. I feel like I've been waiting to wake up. Ever since we got the diagnosis, I've felt that this really can't be reality.

That might be how I'm getting through the days. I'm not sure - as I start my mornings, I slowly lock a part of myself away. So I can function.

I'm reading Sunshine After The Storm. It's a book for bereaved mothers - by bereaved mothers. It's interesting - and lifting. Not alone.