I keep slipping on my journey.
Last night, I caught myself wishing for something good to finally happen to our family. Then I burst into tears. I'm finally able to look at photographs of my son -- really look -- and he's so beautiful. I can look at his face and appreciate how gorgeous he was.
How can I say he wasn't good? How could I have even thought that in a simple passing moment? His life has forever changed mine; and although I mourn and miss him every second of the day.. I still was able to love him, and hold him. It's still okay.
I'm sitting at my desk and I can see the room where everything happened. It's a constant reminder. My chest seizes up when I happen to glance that way, and I'm completely breathless.
It's a rough day.
Katie, I'm sorry for your extra rough day. Every thought, every feeling, every everything needs its chance to come forward to the microphone and be heard, that's how we get our thoughts and feelings on the outside of us. "Grief is not passive, but active. Grief reveals and challenges while it deals with the horrible facts. It lends itself to truth in a way that no other emotion can. It identifies all of the participants in tragedy and allows them their role in the universe. And in all of this, I now somehow take my place." You are strong and brave and beautiful. Kelly
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