Henry's Heaven

I've been having a tough week. I spent the entire weekend with my girl, which is fabulous.. But, in the between moments, when she's napping or elsewhere, there's this feeling of swallowing sadness.

I'm full of it, and yet I keep on swallowing this feeling down. How much can one person hold? It feels like this infinite pool that just absorbs it all.

I feel it even as I tickle my little monster, and as I roar as mommisaurus. It's always there.

There used to be a time that I thought that, maybe, it would go away. But now.. It's only been a year, but I don't think that the drowning ever ends.

I named a star. For Henry. It's actually a double star -- two stars locked in a dance of gravity, shining as one. One star is his shining light - the other is the pieces of ourselves that he took with him when he left us.

http://palebluedot.whitedwarf.org/stars/6859813